My Husband's Ambien

1.19.2013







I had great response to yesterday's post about the Coral-to-Sheer-totally-private-parts-leggings post.   If you missed it, then check The Pink Frock Blog here.    The responses included questions and submissions for more goods to be featured in this segment.

First question: "Why is this Husband Ambien?".    The coral leggings are Husband Ambien because the don't fit, flatter, or other wise make the wearer more feminine or stylish.   Readers, please don't misunderstand what I mean when I say Husband Ambien.   I really mean BORING, NO ALLURE, NOT FEMININE.    It is clothing that I don't understand, wouldn't feel good in, and would never expect to feel strong and confident in, nor would I wear with an expectation of ALLURE.     Just like Ambien, the wrong clothes can absolutely put the lights on on attraction and confidence.   {My Original Post is here}

Now, on to the submissions.   Example 1 is above, the Eternal Legwarmers from Lululemon.    These are not meant as a joke but are hilarious just the same.   Thank you thank you thank you to my good friend who sent me this item.   I wasn't looking for BABY CLOWN ZEBRA LEGWARMERS on the Lulu website so I must have missed them.  



I would have to say that the stripes look better on the real zebra, but I will let you form your own opinion.    The next submission also has stripey legs a la zebra.



Wow and Yuck!   The crotch is dark by-the-way so hopefully that unfortunate sheer quality of the other coral horror wont show up here.   However, in nature a dark circle has often been a target or for mating.
This isn't the Zoological Society Blog here, so I don't need to get into all of that but I will also not be getting into DOWN DOG these pants.

Here is a quick but still decent back view if you need more convincing that you will have zebra behind should keep looking for a more flattering option.




I shouldn't spend any more time on the new Lulu roll-out fails.   They have plenty of gorgeous and flattering items that we should be focusing on.   I did want to share one last submission.



The reasons why these pants don't fit or flatter are vast. Uummmm... where to start? I loathe a forest green pant.   I don't think that a rise (length from waist to crotch) suits anyone when it is long enough to smuggle a cantaloupe out of the market in your pants.   The sag really is unforgivable but what it does to your backside is worse.   Your bottom will be half-your body, which will be terrible when it is clad in PONTE.   Ponte is a fresh way to say a type of polyesterish knit.

So, if you want your BIG AUNTIE'S backside covered over in SNAGGY SOFT KNIT pants that aren't long enough and grab your saddlebags and will NEVER MATCH ANYTHING, this is your pant!

Ok... That is it for what not to wear if you want to put yourself, husband, and fashion to sleep.


xoxo,

Amber